“Don’t make anyone your everything…”

Ikebukuro, September 2007 - photo by Marianne

“…because when they leave you’ll have nothing.”

I don’t believe that. I’ve chosen to give all my heart and trust completely, and let someone becomes the sun that my life revolves around. And what if it turned out that he was unfaithful? What if he fell out of love? What if he decided to leave? What if? What if? Oh so many of them, why should I  waste my time thinking of all the bad possibilities? But if it happened, then I’ll be broken-hearted just like everybody else.

I’ve been there. I know how it was like to feel as if I had nothing. On the other hand, I also know how it felt to be the cause of the pain. Human heart can’t be trusted, even our own heart can be deceitful to us. Whether I give him all my heart or not, I will still be broken-hearted if he left. It doesn’t matter. Holding back my trust and love won’t make the pain any less if anything happened.

So I let myself fall completely in love. Because being in love makes my life beautiful. Nobody knows anything about tomorrow, but today I know that I will love you until the day I die. So cheesy but oh so true.

Here’s another cheesy thing that I wrote some time ago, and I still believe in it. “It should be this simple. No fancy words and pretty metaphors. I look at you and you look at me and we don’t have to talk if we don’t want to. You don’t want me to change and I don’t want you to change either because we’ll change together anyway. We won’t have to care about those games that people play though so many books have been written about them. I just want to curl up in your arms and feel comfortable because I know you will be feeling the same. And when sometimes I think that nothing could be this simple, I will remember that it should be just this simple. And so on and it goes on forever.”

Today is three years since our wedding day, and I’m still head over heels in love for you. Three wonderful years since we started our journey together as a  a family. This is my everything, and I want nothing else.

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