My truly honest scrap

[Honest Scrap AwardStill no new sewing projects. I’m so sorry, these last few days have been so cold I stay in the living room most of the time, curling in the couch like a spoiled cat.

But here’s an ‘Honest Scrap Award’ that Trudy from ‘Sewing with Trudy’ has awarded me recently. Thank you, Trudy! Sorry for taking so long to reply!

The rules for this award are pretty simple:

  1. Thank the person who awarded the prize, mention their blog and give the link.
  2. Share ‘Ten Honest Things’ about yourself.
  3. Present this award to seven others whose blogs you find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged you.
  4. Tell those seven people they’ve been awarded the Honest Scrap award and inform them of these guidelines in receiving the award.

Now for my honest stuff. I’m going to share some things that I’ve never mentioned before in this blog. Are you ready? Really? Are you sure? Err… here we go:

One: I have scoliosis, a medical condition in which a person’s spine is curved from side to side. It makes my hip and shoulder uneven, one side is higher than the other. That’s why I love wearing dresses that doesn’t accentuate my waist and hip area. It’s actually pretty obvious when I stand straight, but I’ve learned to walk and stand in a way so people haven’t really noticed it (or so I thought).

Because of the condition, I had to wear rigid body brace in my teenage year to prevent it from getting worse during my growing year. I was already an unhappy and depressed kid in the first place, so the brace only made it worse by making me feel different and weird.

Another effect of my curved spine is back pain. I have this spot on the right side of my back that is forever in pain, sometimes it feels numb. But as it’s always there, I’ve got pretty used to it.

(picture source: Wikipedia )

Suicide GirlsTwo: Maybe because I’ve already got used to feeling pain, I used to cut myself or bang my head on the wall when upset. Well, that’s not really a good reason actually. Anyway, I have at least one suicide attempt. It was pretty lame and I failed terribly (err, obviously). This is a vector drawing that I made during those darker era. Pretty emo, eh?

Three: This is a picture of me in school days. Isn’t she look sad? It was not a happy time, I was confused and really depressed. I thought I was ugly. I wore thick eyeglasses and my body was wrapped in that rigid body brace that no other kids had ever seen. I also had wire teeth braces on upper and lower teeth (not popular at that time) and had to wear orthodontic headgear at home. Click here if you want to see the thing I’m talking about. And why do those people look so happy in the pictures?

Sometimes I still feel ugly, then I look at my pictures and think that I’m not so ugly. That is why I love taking a lot pictures of myself to remind me. In reality I’m still very quiet and preferred to be alone.

Four: I tend to write a lot when I’m upset, and make stuff when I’m happy. Writing is such a quiet activity. I stay in one corner and everything is happening in my own head. It’s only me and my thoughts. I look only into myself.

But when making stuff like sewing, I have to be all over the place. I’m on my knees on the floor making patterns and cutting fabrics. Then I go to the sewing room, attaching all those pieces. Sometimes they hide under my seat or behind the desk as if they’re playing with me. I’m sitting there surrounded by fabrics, buttons, and trimmings. I look out from myself.

launching06Five: Once upon a time in 2004, I published a novel. Referring to point no.4, you can imagine how unhappy I was at the time. The book got some mixed reviews, it was considered honest, depressing, and pathetic at the same time.

I had a very personal reason for publishing the book, and since it has been accomplished, I have no intention of publishing another novel.

Here’s a picture of the launching event. The pretty lady in black is quite a famous writer in Indonesia. I look so small! (Well, I am small)

Six: Sidra was an unplanned child. I had never wanted to have a child of my own since I didn’t want to raise a kid as depressed and unhappy as I was. But he suddenly came into my life and changed everything. He was such a happy baby, smiling and laughing all the time. I was very, very depressed, a case of untreated post-partum depression, but he was just there, always smiling and laughing and talking to me, snapping me back to reality.

When he got a little bigger, he learned to wipe my tears when I was upset. He’s my little hero.

Mamad & SidraSeven: Sidra is my husband’s stepson. They first met in July 2007. This is a picture of their first meeting.

weightaq9Eight: My weight has stayed the same since highschool, that is 38 kg. I weighed 48 kg when I was 9 month pregnant. This picture was taken in January, 2008, when my weight was dangerously 36 kg.

Nine: I’m an atheist.

008-acaraTen: This is no secret but a very honest thing. I’m happy now and insanely in love with my husband. He’s another hero of my life, maybe I will write about him sometime ^.^

That’s ten! Now, it’s so hard choosing ONLY seven person to nominate! There are so many wonderful person out there! But I finally can make a list of seven here:

  1. Vivat Veritas
  2. Little Sweet Hearts
  3. Oonaballoona
  4. Kiraph
  5. ~Ruffles And Stuff~
  6. TangerineSamurai
  7. Meet me at Mike’s

Thank you for reading! It was kinda hard but also fun! (^.^)d

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